Making a difference...

With the recent passing on Elizabeth Taylor it really made me sit down and think. For someone who was really famous for her acting, looks and love of diamonds it surprised me that she became a determined advocate for HIV/AIDS and the gay cause. She had already made a name for herself and then she changed direction by raising awareness about the disease but also gay rights became the focus for the last remaining years of her life... almost 25 years of hard determined work.

So this makes me ask with life do we really just want to work for money or make a difference?

For a long time my focus in life as been toward making money, buying an apartment, living the lifestyle that is deemed appropriate by the media and buy everything I need and quite often don't want.

So is this what I really want? Now that I have the apartment, a good career, a car, various objects and designer things... is this as good as it gets? The answer is no. Really at the end of the day these things do not make a huge statement for me. What would give me more meaning and a sense of fulfilment  would be that I have been able to achieve make a real difference in someone's life in a positive way. But how and where can I do this???

Being a gay man isn't easy. There is the personal question of ones sexuality that you become aware and question at a very early age. The continual bullying and harassment while at high school does not make things any easier if anything a lot worse. The affects of this torment you have to deal with afterwards as well as coming out to your loved ones. Then finally accepting your sexuality and trying to find and define yourself as a person. Not to mention trying to find a partner, maintain a career and deal with all the other aspects of every day life.

So how would I like to make a difference? Well this is a hard question that I am not sure I can immediately answer without sounding conceited. I guess one thing that would have made a little difference in my life earlier on would have been that life does get easier as a gay man. It isn't always going to be this difficult and hard. The hardest part is coming to terms with your sexuality and sure with the bullying at high school it doesn't make it easy. But once you get through all of this and living your life as an proud gay man things start to change. It does get better!